Mindful Wedding Planning Guide: From our Holistic Esthetician

I’m in my engaged era (ah!). 

This time of year, many people are popping the question (“a ring by spring” is a popular saying for a reason) and making plans for their dream day. With most brides wanting a summer wedding, winter means wedding planning mode is fully activated.

Calls, conversations, invitations, vendor inquiries, vision boards, budgets, beauty routines, tours, tastings and trials – the extensive lists can easily start to feel like a burden, instead of the blessing it’s intended to be.

If you’re a bride-to-be and wanting to mindfully plan your wedding but wondering how to maintain peace and presence (and a clear complexion) in the process, I’m right there with you.

I’m not going to lie, after the first month of being engaged and experiencing the frustration of financial + logistical limitations and trying to figure out a date and place that worked for all of the people we wanted there (spoiler alert: it’s impossible), eloping sounded very appealing.  

But after 38 years of waiting to say “I do”, my fiance and I decided we did want a wedding. We wanted to plan an intentional celebration with everyone we loved. While eloping is the best option for some couples, for us, we felt our wedding day would be even more meaningful and sacred with our community by our side.

Is planning a wedding with ease and joy actually possible? I’m on this journey with you and excited to embark on this planning and prep season right alongside you.

Our wedding countdown: 3 months. But in a way, I feel like I’m almost starting over in my planning process. This time, with more intention and trust – believing that the same way our love story divinely unfolded, our wedding day will be a similar God story. 

And I pray the same for you as you plan and prep for your big day as a bride and becoming a wife to the love of your life.

Whether you’re a bride-to-be, still praying for your person or standing beside a friend as they say “I do”, I hope my personal story and this practical resource provides gentle guidance, encouragement and helpful tips so you can genuinely enjoy this process and savor this season of celebration, beauty and love.

VALUES + VISION

Confession: I easily got swept up with the wedding hype – wanting the designer dress, the destination venue, the extensive guest list (with friends I had hardly seen in a decade), the $20K caterer. Even though I was convinced I was going to keep our wedding minimal and simple (just my style), eventually it started to feel heavier, harder and more hectic than I had hoped. 

I had to hit the pause button on wedding planning – for the sake of my (and my fiance’s) sanity.

(My heart in creating this post is to hopefully help you avoid the same mistakes I made and alleviate the unnecessary and undue stress in this process.)

Yes, it’s just a day and yes, we want it to be meaningful. But no, we don’t want to break the bank and no, we don’t want to get caught up in a billion dollar industry. While we love so many of the traditional components of a wedding, the beauty of our big day is that it’s “ours” – we can create an intentional celebration that feels like “us” and is aligned with our dream day (and doesn’t go over budget).

My sister (and maid of honor!) is actually a wedding planner and finally sat me down and asked: What are your top 3 priorities in planning your wedding?

I realized in that moment it wasn’t actually about the venue or the menu. For me, it was about:

1. The ceremony. Most people prioritize the party (so fun, for sure!) and minimize the ceremony. But for me, the ceremony is the most sacred: our vows, our covenant, our community. God wrote our love story and we want to keep him at the center of our ceremony. 

2. The community. My people have been praying for this day for decades and I wouldn’t be who I am today without them. Our families and friends have walked alongside us and we want them to continue to surround us long after we say “I do”. (But of course, more guests meant cutting down on other aspects of the wedding – like florals or a photobooth – to work within our budget.)

3. The beauty. This is one value I can’t sacrifice on my wedding day (especially as a beauty professional!). But I can highlight natural elements over extravagant decor and prioritize components that create the most beautiful space, experience – and bride!

4. And okay, one more: The budget. Initially, I didn’t want to even acknowledge the budget piece – a wedding is worth the splurge (sure, to an extent). But ultimately, we don’t want to start our marriage buried in debt and we can use a smaller budget as an opportunity to get creative, collaborative and rally our nearest and dearest to help make our dream day happen.

Getting back to my values helped ground me in reality and move forward with more clarity. Just like with any big decision, we need a clear vision to create the life (or wedding day) we want – and to remain focused when other familiar voices (or Instagram ads) start to distract you from what matters most.

And above all, what makes my wedding day our dream day, is that I get to marry my dream man, who is my greatest gift (his name Jonathan literally means “gift from God”!). In the midst of wedding planning, may this truth not be dimmed – it’s the love you share and your life-long commitment that you’re celebrating.

Mindful wedding moment: Take time to write down your top 3 priorities in your personal wedding planning. What are non-negotiables for you? What is most meaningful for you? (**Not planning a wedding? This can be a powerful practice for any area of life or when you need to make an important decision.)

PRAYERFUL PLANNING

After pausing on wedding planning, I decided it was time to plan differently – prayerfully.

When we get quiet and tune in to our inner voice, our vision can become so much clearer. As I finally embraced stillness and surrendered my wedding day to God, one word came to mind: garden.

This moment changed everything for me. I was given the word garden, and it became my guide.

A blank page in my journal quickly became full of scribbled notes, new perspectives, meaningful ideas – and our garden party wedding idea began to grow.

The budget was much more manageable, a local spot meant most of our community could make it, a friend’s beautiful backyard was the perfect backdrop that required minimal decor and a farm-to-table food truck meant our people would enjoy a nutrient-dense dinner (but for a lot less than $20K).

This garden party idea checked all my wedding priority boxes. Plus a garden wedding meant I could walk down the aisle barefoot (now all my wedding dreams were coming true).

Mindful wedding moment: Create space to be still, to pray and to visualize your wedding day. What words, phrases or ideas come to mind? Let these values and this vision be your guide as you create your dream day.

GIVING GRATITUDE

Getting swept up with what still had to get done, get planned and get paid for, started to feel very overwhelming. I realized my attention remained on what we still needed, rather than on what we had already been given. 

I needed to shift my focus and strengthen my faith for there to be any hope of having a mindful wedding planning experience. 

Instead of having a scarcity (and scared) mindset of everything unknown and undone, I decided to embrace abundance as I remembered all of the ways we had already been provided for in our wedding planning.

So alongside my wedding to-do list, I started a gratitude list. Here’s a little glimpse into my wedding gratitude journal:

• Wedding venue in a friend’s backyard
• A discounted dress alteration
• Wine gifted from dear friends
• A friend + professional photographer offering to document our wedding
• Discounted videography + film package
• A mutual friend (and celebrity makeup artist) offering to do my makeup
• Having our honeymoon planned from a friend who started a new travel agency 
• A wedding coordinator offering a generous rate
• Homemade wedding cake + desserts baked by a friend
• A new friend being our barista + bartender for our reception 
• Being gifted the most beautiful accommodation for our honeymoon
• Having a sister who’s a wedding planner :)

You guys, and this list goes on… and it brings me to tears – talk about abundance and building faith. When we look back on all we’ve been given, it gives us hope for all that’s ahead. 

This list has continued to grow throughout our wedding planning and on days when doubt creeps in about how all the details are going to come together (like to-dos to finish and final invoices), I look back on this list and thank God for every blessing, trusting more are on the way.

Mindful wedding moment: Start your own gratitude list alongside your to-do list. Take time to look at your list whenever you sit down to wedding plan – building faith before diving in to your to-dos. I can’t wait for you to see your to-dos transform into abundant blessings, too.

THE BEAUTY OF COMMUNITY

Our wedding would not be as beautiful or meaningful without our community. Yes, as guests, of course – but also, because of their generosity and willingness to surround us, support us and show up in their own unique ways. (See gratitude list above!).

Before I even got engaged, I asked some friends who had been married for almost a decade for their wedding advice. “Get your community involved.” I didn’t like their answer and brushed off their wedding wisdom. 

I have been a part of DIY, all-hands-on-deck weddings more times than I care to count. I know firsthand how fun they can be (doing all the things with all the friends) but I’ve also experienced the exhaustion (the late hours and multiple last minute errands). 

I told myself that when I got married, my wedding would be dialed, not DIY. I wanted my guests to show up, celebrate and leave, all without lifting a finger. I didn’t need anyone, I could do it myself (translation: I didn’t want to ask for help or feel like a burden). 

My, how this wedding planning season has been so humbling – in the best of ways.

This wedding planning season has debunked that independent myth and has been a beautiful reminder that we were never intended to do this life alone. And I believe it’s also a glimpse into the gift and magic of marriage: two becoming one and being better together. 

The beauty of community has been made even more clear to me during this planning process and pulling off a sacred celebration of love. I have felt incredibly humbled that each friend, friend of a friend, and even total strangers would want to help us make a wedding happen.

Yes, it’s definitely felt uncomfortable at times, yet learning to lean into community and allowing myself to receive help has been, at the risk of sounding dramatic, life-changing. 

When I look back on our wedding, I’ll definitely admire my bridal makeup application, photos + video and a beautiful backyard venue, but even more, I’ll remember the people behind the scenes who made it all happen – and that this day would not have been possible without them.

Mindful wedding moment: Where can you let go of control and invite your community in? Send the text, make the call, ask the question, say “yes” when they offer. Let these truths wash over you: “I am worthy of showing up for. I am not a burden. There is beauty in receiving help.”

MINDFUL WEDDING PLANNING

When I began writing this blog as a mindful wedding planning guide, I initially thought it was going to be more about how to include regenerative, ethically-made, locally-sourced everything. 

And now I’m realizing, while these philosophies really do matter (and if you can afford to include these details in your day, please do!), there is actually a deeper meaning to mindful wedding planning (and living) that extends beyond the details, the dress and the decor. 

If we become buried under the stress or the debt of pulling off the perfectly curated, locally-sourced wedding or if we book the farm-to-table caterer or buy the sustainably-made dress at the expense of our mental health or well-being, then I think the meaning of “mindful” has become diluted along the way.

There are deeper layers to mindfulness that I was reminded of during my wedding planning process:

• Being grounded in our values and staying true to our vision.
• Remaining prayerful and being guided by God (not the voices of everyone else).
• Giving gratitude to shift our focus and strengthen our faith.
• The beauty of being surrounded by community – we aren’t meant to do life alone.

May you find the ease and joy in this journey as you discover your own meaning of mindfulness as you plan your wedding. I believe this season can be purposeful preparation for your marriage and a future together of aligned vision, greater faith and life-giving connection. 

Courtney xx

(aka Mrs. Goetz)

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