Managing the "Holiday Blues" with Dr. Caroline Leaf

The holiday season is often painted as a time of joy and celebration, but for many, it can also bring feelings of heightened stress and emotional challenges. In this interview Dr. Caroline Leaf - a communication pathologist, audiologist, and clinical and research neuroscientist from our Expert Panel - shares her insights on how to navigate the complexities of this time of year. With her advice, we can approach the holidays with greater mindfulness and resilience, nurturing our emotional well-being while embracing the season.

While the holidays are often seen as a time for celebration, they can also bring increased stress and trigger what many refer to as the "holiday blues." Why is this the case?

For many people, holidays come with either a series of additional obligations over and above what we must do each day, affecting our mental and physical health if left unmanaged - especially in the colder winter months when many people are already experiencing some level of seasonal sadness. Holidays can be a triggering time for people who have experienced loss or for those who associate the holidays with past trauma, all of which can exacerbate what many refer to as the “holiday blues”.

What is one of your go-to stress management strategies for navigating this time of year?

I recommend doing a Neurocycle to help you recognize and manage mental fatigue. This is a 5-step mind-management system I have developed over the past 38 years based on my research and practice.  

Step 1: Gather Awareness

Gather awareness of the warning signals of your mental fatigue by noticing your emotional, physical and behavioural warning signs. Ask yourself:

• What are your emotional warning signals? For example, these could be feelings of frustration, depression, anxiety, irritability.
• What are the physical warning signals in your brain and body? For example, does your brain feel tired but your mind doesn't want to stop? Are you feeling flu-like symptoms? Do you feel congested? Are you battling with GI issues like bloating?
• What are your behavioral warning signals? For example, are you experiencing bursts of aggression or are you more irritable than normal? Are you battling to concentrate for long periods of time? Do you keep feeling like you need to sleep, but don’t ever seem to feel rested? 

Step 2: Reflect

Next, go through each of these warning signals and explore the “why”. Dig deep and be honest with yourself. For example, ask yourself questions like “why am I frustrated? I'm frustrated because…”

Step 3: Write

Write everything down to help organize your thinking and get more insight into what is going on in your mind and life. 

Step 4: Recheck

Take each of the warning signals you have gathered, reflected on, and written down above, and see them for what they are: signals that you are in mental fatigue! Then create a new thought pattern or behaviour (an “antidote”) for each one.

Step 5: Active Reach

Create a summary statement that combines your warning signals into an “all-systems-alert mental fatigue warning”. Create some sort of reminder for this statement to pop up each day (on your phone, a note at your desk, etc.) so you can’t miss it. This will remind you to practice using the antidotes you came up with. 

Mine for example says the following: “When I feel frustrated, fluey, irritable and am perseverating on something, then I know I am mentally fatigued and need to rest by doing something I love, like reading a novel…”.

You can learn more about this practice in my book Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess and my app Neurocycle. 

How can we make time for intentional moments of rest during this busy season?

Practice doing nothing with “thinker moments”.

Many of us feel guilty when we need to take a break or holiday because we live in a society that glorifies hectic schedules and undervalues the power and beauty of rest and relaxation. We need to recognize that although the mind is infinite, the brain is finite, and it needs rest to function well. 

“Thinker moments” let your mind wander and daydream for a few moments to a few minutes throughout the day. I try to do this for a minute or so every hour. These moments give the brain a break and allow it to reboot and heal, which increases clarity of thought and organizes the networks of the brain. 

While rest and solitude are vital for our mental health, social connection is equally important. What’s your favorite way to connect with others during the holidays?

More and more research is coming out on how the happiest people are those who connect with others and build meaningful relationships. The brain is made for human connection, and the holiday season is a great time to engage in meaningful relationships with those you hold dear. 

One of my favorite ways to connect with others is by enjoying meals together. Food and mental health are intricately connected - what and how we eat affects our mental health and vice versa. It’s not just about what we eat, but how we eat. Regular family meals have been associated with a decreased risk of addictive behavior and depression, and higher self-esteem. This is why I recommend preparing and eating meals with your loved ones over the holiday season, as this can be incredibly therapeutic and stress-relieving. 

Setting boundaries with loved ones can be challenging, especially during the holidays. How can we navigate family dynamics and maintain healthy boundaries during a time of heightened connection?

Boundaries are an important part of a healthy relationship - we all have our own unique needs for “space”, and we need to be able to communicate what we need from our loved ones. It is always okay to ask for space in a relationship - even if the relationship is a healthy one and even over the holidays, which can be an especially trying time when it comes to family!

Communicating your need for a break or alone time can be a challenge. Being cognizant of your communication style and providing context is key for the other individual to process and understand where you are coming from instead of reacting to what you are saying. 

Setting boundaries in a healthy way allows us to tend to our “emotional oxygen mask”. We cannot truly be there for a loved one if we are not able to support ourselves and our needs. Like the oxygen mask in an airplane, we must put our mask on first before we can truly help others.

What are your go-to Primally Pure products for relieving stress?

Soothing Face Mask: I love this product because it not only helps me pause during my busy schedule and take some time to rest and restore, but it also helps with the redness I experience when the weather gets colder and drier. 

Soothing Mist: This is a great “on-the-go” stress reliever. I love carrying it with me to family events or when I travel. It helps to ground me by calming my skin externally, and makes me feel more in control in the moment rather than impulsively reacting to a stressful event or trigger.